The beginning of charge. (Part one)

I recently went on a trip to Ottawa with my aunt, uncle and my little cousins. I stayed in my grandma's cousin's house (who I called dadi apu) she's very religious and at the same times understanding. She has an older son and two daughters younger then me. Before going my mom told me that all the girls young and old wore the hijab and that I should wear it too out of respect for the comunity. So I decided that I would try.
The day we arrived my dadi apu was having a holiday get together, no one had an arrived yet, So I decided to change into something more traditional. I didn't wear the hijab cause I still didn't feel comfortable yet.
As people started coming in I realized what my mom said was true,all the girls wore the hijab young old and everything in between. I started feeling more uncomfortable and kind of ashamed of myself. Here were these girls looking beautiful and modest and then there was me, I was showing off my hair,it just didn't feel right. The Pride I had in showing off my dark long hair went away and I felt really insecure. I usually felt this insecurity when I wore the hijab in public. I felt alone in a room full of people. The next day some other family members was going to have another get together and I decided I would wear the hijab then to see if my sense of insecurity would go away.