Wednesday, December 30, 2015

The beginning of charge (part two)

During the next get together. It was the night before boxing day and my family decided to go shopping right after the party, but I did know until after I got ready and wore the hijab. Everyone was saying that we would but I didn't take then that seriously.
When I got to the party I felt way more comfortable with everyone, the adults treated me with more respect and I treated myself with more respect too.
Then we went to the shop I wasn't that scared as I thought, spending the night wearing the hijab made me less uncomfortable. It was the  first time I went out in public around non-muslim wearing the hijab. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, I was with my family who also wore the hijab so I didn't feel intimidated.

Disclaimer

I've met many hijabi before in fact all the adult in my comunity wear it and I have thought about wearing the hijab many times before going to Ottawa. But this trip to ottawa was just different in every way.
                                          

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

The beginning of charge. (Part one)

I recently went on a trip to Ottawa with my aunt, uncle and my little cousins. I stayed in my grandma's cousin's house (who I called dadi apu) she's very religious and at the same times understanding. She has an older son and two daughters younger then me. Before going my mom told me that all the girls young and old wore the hijab and that I should wear it too out of respect for the comunity. So I decided that I would try.
The day we arrived my dadi apu was having a holiday get together, no one had an arrived yet, So I decided to change into something more traditional. I didn't wear the hijab cause I still didn't feel comfortable yet.
As people started coming in I realized what my mom said was true,all the girls wore the hijab young old and everything in between. I started feeling more uncomfortable and kind of ashamed of myself. Here were these girls looking beautiful and modest and then there was me, I was showing off my hair,it just didn't feel right. The Pride I had in showing off my dark long hair went away and I felt really insecure. I usually felt this insecurity when I wore the hijab in public. I felt alone in a room full of people. The next day some other family members was going to have another get together and I decided I would wear the hijab then to see if my sense of insecurity would go away.

Let me introduce myself.

Hi and as-salaam 'alaykum for my fellow Muslims.
As you can probably tell by the title this blog is going to be about my journey in becoming a hidjabi and wearing the hijab.
Let me start off by giving you a background about myself.
I'm from Bengali,Muslim family and I'm in my last year of high school. There are practically no female muslim in my grade or in my school. So wearing the hijab would be a big statement. But everyone in my school knows that I'm a muslim and everyone knows that I take my religion really seriously and I always defended the hidjab and I respect hijabi very much.
But I just never had the courage to actually wear the hijab.
Except recently....